Hey yall!
This is a message that has been spread across through many people, dialects, and beliefs all over the world. Yet these are words that we often fall short of acting upon.
I am a work in progress just like all of you. Even though I consider myself a confident person my self love journey is a daily practice! I have to constantly rewire my thoughts when they shift in doubt or negative energy. This is not something that appeared overnight. This self love journey took years of focusing on myself and doing what makes me happy. I had to realize that there was only one me, so I’d rather be myself than a copy of someone else. When I switched my mindset and worked towards caring for myself, my language change.
No, not all days are full of positive vibes and talks. Some days are just full of shit and I’m going to complain. Complaining is a natural and OKAY thing to do. It is apart of who we are. There are many people that have the mindset of:
-“shut up and grind”
“Stop complaining and work”
“You’re not the only one going through this.”
“Someone could be going through worse. Be thankful.”
I could go on. These are dismissive phrases in my eyes. Many of the people who use these words to dismiss others feelings have complained plenty. It is okay. I find complaining to be a release that we all need. I’d rather complain than to suck it up and bottle it all in.
BUT LET ME SAY THIS…
I love to have a solution to remedy this complaining. I’ll vent away to release all tension, worry, and frustration. But as I release I am finding a way to solve whatever I am going through. Honestly, its nice to talk it out with myself and then come to an idea. There are some situations that you may not be able to change. This is the opportunity to complain, then work on how you can navigate around your struggles. How can you change your mindset or reaction to this?
Complaining is not the sole reason why I wrote this post. So lets get to the second portion.
Lets talk about the exhausting negative & hateful self talk. You know, the energy that destroys us.
YOUR WORDS ARE POWER!
When you speak ill of yourself you become what you speak. That negativity is just as contagious (if not more) as positive energy so it is necessary to be in control of what we attract.
I am no longer of Christian faith, but I was raised as a Christian and practiced Christianity until my mid 20s. My mother loved the Lord and was working towards being a better person. As a youngin’ I studied the Bible often. Sometimes I would use the words in the Bible and think of my mother. One thing that stood out to me was that throughout several moments in my childhood my mother would always talk about her dying. She would say if anything were to happen to her she’d want a certain family member to take care of my brother. She even mentioned me taking in my brother once. It felt like my mother was always talking about death. My mother had health issues, but none that would threaten her harshly enough to die at such a young age.
One day she gave me another talk about her passing. This time I said something. “Mom, you’re always talking about death. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. You keep speaking of dying, and it might happen sooner than you want. How about we talk about living more?”
I feared my mom in many ways, but there were several moments where she just stared at me in awe because I would provide teachable moments. This was one of those moments. Let me tell yall, having a mother who was consumed by so much tragic childhood trauma meant that often times I was playing the role of the mother to her. This was through encouraging words, affection, and picking up the slack when she wasn’t her best.
After this moment of “aha” and awe, she said “You know what, you’re right.” and embraced me with a warming hug as she changed her language about living. This was a beautiful moment because it was a mutual and productive conversation. I wish my mother did more of this positive self talk. I often wonder what she said in her head. How often did she succumb to her trauma or harsh words to herself? She passed away at the age of 42 and I wonder how consistent she was with her positive conversations within herself. I wonder if she would have been more kind to herself would she have lived longer and reduced stress? These are questions that I will never really know but still can cross my mind over the past 11 years.
We deserve to speak life into ourselves. There is a whole world that may be fighting against you, it would be a shame for you to add to the tally. Let’s watch what we say and see our lives flourish. Thats the type of challenge I am down for. The challenge that You down?
-Kamali
Obiagu Makes 